Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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