the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Who did Billy Mays play for?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
