he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
