we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
