either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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