your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
