Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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