What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
