You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
