What did we do last night that was yellow?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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