I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
