I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
