im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
