I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
that is very illegal...i love you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
