There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
