I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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