I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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