he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
