turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
