State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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