So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
