I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
