the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
