Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
