Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
