I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
