the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
