told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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