I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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