He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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