i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you win again, gameday.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
