I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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