Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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