your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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