Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
