my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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