When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
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