I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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