Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
