More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
