did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
