Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
