But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
