whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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