Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think my moral compass just broke
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
