why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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