please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
