Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
