i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Houston, we have a blender
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
