where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
